ESPANA

Spain, Madrid

February 26th 2010 - March 1st 2010

Trip #1

OT: Open Sexuality?

So last night I was talking to Andres about threesomes because Jack and I were debating whether they ruin relationships or not. I believe that they do because I am pretty conservative with sexual relationships, in a sense that I sleep with 1 person at a time and when I'm in a relationship I only sleep with that 1 person. However, Andres brought up a point about being open to talk about sex. He says especially 10 years or so down the line in the relationship, there comes a time when the couple gets tired of having sex with each other.

What he's trying to say is that when the relationship becomes more established and that the trust that is placed between the couple is strong enough, talking about having sex with other people should be ok. In other words, sex and the relationship should be viewed separately.

I disagreed with him completely because when it comes to being in such a committed relationship, especially with 10 years down the road, I am conservative. I don't think that having sex with other people should be even an option. If sex gets to a point where the couple get tired and bored of each other then there is already an issue. Sex has everything to do with intimacy and the relationship as a whole. How can you simply have sex with someone else and expect to come home to your partner as if nothing happened? I mean yes, your lover knows and in a sense approves of sex with other people but physically I would feel different. Also, it damages one's confidence in bed. Am I simply not good enough?

Those are my reasons for why I'm insecure about having open sexual relations 10 years down the line in a relationship. Actually, it is not insecurity because I'm am secure but it's more about not knowing how I would feel about you after you sleep with someone else. I understand the things you do in the relationship and how you show that you love someone but sex is also an expression of that love and the fact that you might need to have sex with someone else eventually in the relationship just damages that expression into tainted empty words.

Been a Month

So this is not good, I haven't been updating haha. I know it has been a month since I last updated but it took time to adjust and get into the groove.

... also done alot since but we'll get to that another time...

So yesterday, we went to an ICE BAR and that is literally a bar made of ICE. Overall, it was an experience and I enjoyed it a lot. It was worth it too, 15quids for entry, the gear and a drink was not too shabby. Today, we celebrated Chinese New Years by heading to Chinatown and checking out the festivities. It was REALLY crowded but I did had a great time and it made me miss home a lot. Spending family time during Chinese New Years means a lot to me so missing out and being so far from home made me wish I was back in NYC. Ended the night with the fireworks was spectacular, had a fantastic weekend.

Even though it has been a month and I do feel better being away from everyone and home, today I do feel really homesick. I'm not too sure why but I believe it is because of the festivities and the anticipation of Madrid this friday. I'm really excited for Madrid this coming weekend because it will my first trip to Spain and my first trip abroad.

Home always seems to be so comfortable because it is somewhere I trust. I love london and everything but the thing is I slowly realizing london is NOT where I want to live. Things here close too early and the culture is opposite to what I'm use to in NYC. I'm not saying that I can't handle unfamiliarity but just London has not been giving me what I want. Maybe Spain or France can?

I miss my bbs back home. It is almost March! that means I'm almost HOMEEE. May7th.

CHEERS