Is it really worth it?

So a week has passed since I've been in London and alot of mishaps happened in between. I've been through alot of emotional, mental and physical destruction in London that I feel like an old war-torn building. Being in such a state I can barely appreciate the beauty of this city, the history and the depth. I want to know London better and learn to love this place but with the anxiety attacks it really shallows my thoughts about London.

I spent two nights crying, once to my boyfriend and once to my mom and sister, all about missing home and how much I want to head back to NYC. It's very miserable and very unlike me because I'm a very independent person who can travel anywhere and be fine. I've traveled alone before and live in a city outside of the states without family or bf. This seems different though, it's definitely a new area of comfort I've never even looked into and has now attacked me face forward.

I joined a gym to try to ease my anxiety and stress. I need to put my mind off being away from home and learn to make London "like home". I'm slowly getting there, meaning that I try to take control of my sleep.

Day by day as classes are coming together, I will love london! I MUST because my backup plan is not pretty =[

Love,

Me.

Day 3 + Day 4, hoping Day 5 is better

So the basic gist of day 3 and 4 is that I didn't sleep because I am very homesick and I might have acute insomnia... this is crazy.

I AM VERY ANGRY with myself. i am homesick and i cant fall asleep because of it. It's been two days and ive gotten a total of maybe 3-5 hrs of sleep. I wish i can sleep again and it's driving me nuts. I'm going to go get some sleep aid and maybe this would help me.

pray to god i can sleep on day 5 =[

Day 1 + Day 2

So I have been in London for about two days now.

The flight was TRAGIC, it was terrible. The reasons why it sucked was cause of the seats... even with the aisle seat it was so TIGHT and not for HUMAN BEINGS. However, it was a quick flight being that we got to Heathrow in about 5hrs and 30mins.

After the flight we went to the apartment from a bus that took us from the airport to the front door. While on that 1hr bus ride, i saw so many things that was just so british yet i didnt feel alienated because this was all familiar in Hong Kong. The double decker buses, the driving on the other side of the road, the currency, the stores and pretty much most modern technology. The one thing that obviously threw me off was the british locals speaking english. The accent is not new to me because me and wilma practice often but it's just so awesome to finally be in Europe. FINALLY.

So, at the apartment I met my fellow roommates, two guys, and they're pretty awesome. Neither of them are from syracuse so it was only the two girls from our flat and me from SU. I think instantly we got comfortable with each other and was very social which was good. The 5 of us spent most of the time together. We spent the first night at a pub but for dinner we all finished 3 bottles of wine/champagne and had a can of beer. At the pub I had two pints and basically i was kinda drunk. So i passed out on the bed at midnight London time and woke up at 6am... was able to talk to Andres and stuff which made me day alot better.

DAY 2!!!!!

Today was a very simple day, just went to get other necessities such as the phone. Got to phone home which was good. We then became friends with people the floor below us and had dinner together then went to the pub together. Two different pubs, a different one every night and I swear my liver hates me. After the pub we all just came back and chilled and now here I am writing a blog entry!!!

I miss nyc, family, friends and my hot ass boyfriend. =] However, I am enjoying my time at London.

CHEERS

19 Hours...

In about 19hours I will be leaving NYC for the new adventures of London.

However, I will mention my amazing last night in the city...

Spent the night at my boyfriend's and woke up to have brunch and he told me he planned a whole day of surprises for me, which is what he always does and I love it.

We took the cab and had to make it somewhere no later than 245pm... and we ended up going to the theater that was plaing HAIR on broadway... not only was that a surprise but the seats were another surprise... 2nd ROW CENTER!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING boyfriend right? *hums tune to Lets them hoes fight by Trina*

The show was AMAZING, my second favorite right after Spring Awakening. It was definitely an epic show and expressed alot of LOVE FREEDOM and FEAR the 60s generation had. After the show he surprised me again with dinner reservations at the Standard Hotel Grill... which is AMAZING. All I kept saying in my head was that he's the most amazing boyfriend EVER. I really don't know who I prayed to because I have received the most amazing person in my life.

All I know is... this is just the beginning and London is just another obstacle we will go through and come this summer... it will be an epic relationship. EPIC PROPORTIONSSSSSSS

i love him.

CHEERS.

Single Digits

Today, currently, marks 9 more days till London...

It has finally hit the single digits and I'm freaking excited and terrified at the same time. The thought of being alone again haunts me but at the same time this is a fresh start and a way to meet new people from different colleges and from Syracuse.

... sidenote, this has officially became my primary blog till I finish London :D cha ching...

I have yet packed but I have a brief idea of what I need...

1. All my shirts and jeans... ok only 6-7 pairs of jeans.

2. 5-7 pairs of shoes

3. Skin and Hair products... oh and cologne

4. LAPTOP DUH????

5. CAMERA

6. ALL CHARGERS and Ipod usb thing

7. Necessities like a nail clipper

8. Glasses

9. Toothpaste and a small set of shampoo/conditioner and body wash in case I fail in shopping the first night

10. My leisure reading books

11. Pictures of my loved ones... I know, I said loved ones... gross

12. Owlbert <3

*thats all I can think of right now.

however, one thing I can't seem to let go right now is NYC, time with my family and best friends and my boyfriend. Things are just going so amazing right now with my life that leaving for London will potentially be a setback.

I love my boyfriend and I hope he loves me enough to not forget my face on May7th!

CHEERS

In Two Weeks...

It just seems like yesterday when I had a month before I had to go study in London. Not that I'm complaining but I haven't soaked enough of the city yet and to leave now would just leave a craving that I wont satisfy till May.

Since London is coming up so soon I also decided to map out the rest of my life in Syracuse and education beyond. Hopefully Spring 2011 I get to study in Hongkong or Beijing and also begin my LSAT preparations. By senior year I should have completed two internships, 1 involving International Relations and the other involving Law. I plan to combine both my interests into 1: International Law.

It took me 6 years of Model UN, International Relations and Politics class to find out who I want to help with what I want to do. Every time I hear about the destruction of families and lives because of ethnic division it bothers me. We are living in what we know as the "civilized" world but there is nothing civilized about murdering people because of how we look and how we live. It still baffles me that governments around the world congratulates people who torture and rape women because they're from a different ethnic group. How can war criminals run freely around the world after the nightmares they have caused upon millions of people? There is no such thing as justice in this world yet, there might have been centuries ago but not anymore.

I have always peaked interest in the life of people who have been hurt by another human being. Not that I'm fascinated by the pain of other people, which would then make me a sadist wouldn't it? I'm more into the look of people's faces when they have been relieved of a lifetime of torture and nightmares coming from a threat in their own homes/countries. It's about leaving an impact in people's lives without having to give them your name. I like being anonymous because a name doesn't do anything when it's empty. We see Angelina Jolie as a name yet it's not empty because the one that holds the name works and dedicates her life into what she does. A name on a check given to charity is empty... thoughtless and for publicity.

I need to get a really good score on my LSAT. If not... BOOM my career will fail. Who knows? I might have another goal in the coming months after London... being in a different city always changes my perspective on life.

CHEERS.