One Month Before LONDON!!!

but this doesn't mean I'm leaving quietly.

sure my roommate is great and everything at times but this is really it. Our plan was to leave by midnight or at least be prepared by midnight. I was set on that and everything so I packed and stressing because I'm on two hrs of sleep and I have to completely empty my room cause I won't be coming back. After I was done packing, he is still working on his 13 page paper which was given to him way before hand. My problem with this is that these past two weeks, he spends his time watching anime and what not. However, he doesn't get his shit done in time so it fucks everyone over. Now he's walking over to his professor's office hoping that it is open so he can slip his paper under the door. If the building is not opened then we're leaving on friday which leaves me in the WORST position ever.

He told me that he hates nyc traffic so that is why he can only drop me off in front of my house if we drive at night. I was fine with it, but literally two hours ago he tells me "If we don't reach the city before 7am I can't drop you off in the city and I'm going to go straight to brooklyn". WAIT ONE MOTHER FUCKING SECOND! I HAVE 8 MOTHER FUCKING BAGS AND A PILLOW BECAUSE I EXPECTED YOU TO DROP ME OFF IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE LIKE YOU SAID.... just cause YOU FUCKED UP AND DIDNT TIME MANAGE WELL ENOUGH YOURE GONNA FUCK ME OVER?!

honestly, i am dead ass tired and pissed off and sick of his shit. praise london!

Consistent Eating Habits are for Hipsters

So, once again I am not concentrating or focusing at all when I have an 8pg paper due this thursday. POST POST POST!

Going to london in about a month, I learned early in the semester that I won't be having a meal plan. This is very interesting for me because I can go crazy and eat whatever I want and cook whatever I want. I won't be wasting meals plans or be concerned that I won't have enough for the rest of the week. However, I am terrified though because I come to realize that I have actually been struggling with my weight for awhile now. No, it's not struggling to stay skinny or lose fat, it's struggling to maintain a certain weight and muscle mass for a long period of time.

I remember when I was about 8 years old, my doctors told me I was UNDERweight and prescribed me medication that would increase my appetite. No hope because I still was underweight till about high school when I started joining sports teams. Why is that society gives us these "check" boxes to place us into a category? I was healthy but I feared being under that "norm" weight or over that "norm" weight. Joining the swim team and track team at the same time put alot of pressure on my muscle mass. I dare say had a banging body when I was freaking 15 and pretty much lost it once I dropped the sports team in college.

Now, sophomore year in college and I've gained 15lbs. Yes, I've been hit by that darn freshman 15 except it doesn't stop at freshman year! I keep fluctuating between my weight and obviously that is not good. There is always focus on people who are anorexic or obese... but this shit is pretty bad when you can't maintain a weight for a substantial amount of time. Hopefully in London I can learn to eat in moderation, not too little or too much, exercise and drink water.

P.S. 10 days till XMAS!

AMAZEBALLS!

Surprise Surprise...

For some odd reason, whenever I tend to be busiest I have urges to blog.

I am still writing my proposals on the effects of global climate change on refugees. I love this topic and everything, but for me to write a proposal is very scary because my TA told me to act as if I'm going to save the world with my words and these 8 pages.

There are many things I wish to do, in order to save the world. This past semester has been the my worst semester based on grades but I've learned the most than I ever did in semester where my grades were quite amazing. Most of classes now focus on very specific topics, which is very beneficial cause now I am able to determine where I want my focus to be. Being an International Relations and Political Science major is pretty saying "I can do whatever I want".

My interest seems to be drawn towards alot of pain and misery in this world. Ever since I was a child a strive for some sort of attention and always wanted to be a superhero without a mask. I know it sounds very shallow but to be honest... Why would I do something without getting credit for it? It's like writing a research paper and handing it in anonymously... I WANT MY FREAKING A! All my classes has assigned me presentations and papers on things such as refugees, human trafficking or same-sex marriage statistics. I want to represent that small amount of people that are living with that mask on everyday. I can barely keep my mask on for a masquerade party.

I feel confident with what I'm doing but apparently it doesn't reflect my grades this semester. I am having trouble putting the pieces together but right now I feel really good having the pieces in general. I was going in to this double-major phenomenon as if it was only headlights in a foggy road but now I see the road at least 25 miles ahead of me.

People shouldn't always believe that "going with the flow" is what works best. I've tried both ways and planning and mapping a goal in the future is what keeps me going. Going with the flow is an excuse for those to buy time so that they can one day find a box of pieces and begin putting the puzzle together.

Not Quite Yet...

It's almost 1 month before I head to London but so much has happened from 3 months ago till now.

It's my LAST week of this semester and I am so glad to be out! However, I must endure FINALS WEEK which is pretty much another way of saying... "THIS COLLEGE, TAKE IT OR DROP THE FUCK OUT". Obviously, I'm going to take it even though it consists for TWO 8 page papers, TWO finals and ONE 6 page take home final... not to forget the 10 PAGES I wrote this past week and a 30 minute presentation. To be honest, it doesn't sound like alot but HELL, the process is enough to have me considering a DROP OUT!

Being in a relationship, now, is the worst timing ever. We're together as MUCH as we can whenever I'm back in the city because we both know that I won't be in the states for 5 months. We call this relationship exclusive when I'm in the country and open when I'm out. I know this sounds like as if this relationship is going head first onto the concrete of NYC but I'm willing to take a chance. If we can make it through my study abroad then I'm pretty sure this relationship is one worth taking chances for.

London is just so close, literally at my fingertips because I found out who my roommates are and what classes I'm going to be taking. I'm just getting closer and closer each day, just two days ago I got an email confirmation for my flight from JFK to the infamous Heathrow. The only thing that is keeping me grounded from flying off into NEVERLAND is the fact that I have a shit load of work to do and I must get through it before I can even begin packing.

This winter break, I can sense, will be one of the most memorable ones. I will be heading to London after it so therefore I am living NYC as if I'm leaving forever. I planned BROADWAY, MUSEUMS and SIGHT SEEING. I will see my best friends, my boyfriend and my family and SQUEEZE every ounce of essence I can get from them before the fact that all I will see is a tiny screen on my macbook with their faces pixilated. I won't regret what I will do this break which is why I'm still debating if I should work. Working will give me extra pocket money but will inhibit my time.

Do I care for money or for time?

- 13 Days Till Christmas, my first in two years.

AMAZEBALLS.